Let lockdown commence

Wow, what a week! I wasn’t sure I could find the words to describe the ups and downs of the last five days or so, but I thought I’d try. Apart from anything, I’ve always found writing good therapy and the fact everyone – no matter who you are – is going through the same thing at the moment is both terrifying and some kind of strange comfort at the same time.

This week was the first week of homeschooling, both Dave and I working from home and no childcare for Otis. What a shock to the system. It’s all very well having one change happen in your life, but multiple things are almost overwhelming, to say the least.

The week actually started well. Being the organiser I am, I’d written out a loose schedule for Aria that included school work, some downtime and of course our outside time – the bit I looked forward to the most each day. Since Aria started developing symptoms on Tuesday however, we’ve had to isolate. I for one have found this incredibly hard. The weather has been beautiful and being able to walk in the woods near our house, hear the birds singing, the sun on my face and breathing in deep was something I craved.

The homeschooling part has been okay. Jeez, I’m no teacher, I don’t really have the patience, but we’ve muddled along. One of the hardest parts has been Otis reaching peak tantrum-phase and trying to keep them both happy at the same time. Fucking impossible unless they’re watching TV or snacking!

While Dave’s work has ramped up to the max, mine has sadly deteriorated. I’ve found this really hard as I love to be busy, I really enjoy working for myself now and after a shit year last year, it felt so good being freelance. Of course, things can improve again, I’m just not always very good at telling myself that. I think I’ve cried most days – for how life was before this pandemic, for not being able to go where we want when we want, for my beautiful friend working in the thick of it, for my mum and dad who we can’t see, for friends we can’t see and hug. The things we take for granted have now become the things we crave and ache for.

So, this is getting a bit maudlin – the positives. Come on, let’s try and find some in this shit storm! We’re living in an age where technology is the best it’s ever been. We have video calling – which we’ve done with the grandparents, a few of our lovely friends, I even did my weekly rebound class via Zoom. Bloody awesome!

Here are a few things that have made me happy this week –

• Seeing Aria and Otis play together and become even closer. Watching them play their silly games and giggle uncontrollably.
• Tori Kelly‘s live sessions on Instagram – the most beautiful voice.
• Gin! Never has home drinking been more appealing…or dangerous 😉
• Enjoying our garden and exercise every day – even if it was Joe Wicks PE for kids 😆
• Zoom Bounce & Burn with fabulous ladies.
• A fresh fruit and veg delivery.

I’m trying to keep in mind – no matter how crap this all feels, there is always someone worse off and we need to be grateful for what we have right now, in this moment.

A song that’s made me happy this week.👇 All the feels! 🎧

A home is not just a house

Before Christmas, with baby Smith number two on the way, we’d discussed moving house. You know, those casual conversations – “we really should see what’s out there, we’ll need more space.” Although our two bedroom terrace could accommodate a newborn (with bubbs in our room for up to 6 months), after that things may be a little tricky. With A starting school in September (how did that happen?!), her sharing with a baby is going to be unfair in our eyes.

So back to the search…we viewed a house on Saturday we’ve sort of fallen in love with, okay really fallen in love with. Is it tempting fate to write about it? Who knows. Either way, the reality is we now need put ours on the market, which we’re doing this week. I was surprised how emotional this decision has made me feel. Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones or maybe it’s because this house is our first family home. We got married while living here, we brought our first baby home here and she took her first steps in her bedroom, we’ve shared big moments of our lives here. This home is more than just a house, it’s a huge part of our lives. All these memories, all this history is ingrained in this house. It’s heart wrenching to think about moving on.

As our family grows I guess we also grow as people and change is one of life’s certainties. With this in mind I think, when the day comes, it’ll be an exciting prospect to make new memories in a new house. To make it our home.

The swimwear dilemma…post-child

So, we’ve booked our first holiday abroad with Aria in tow for later in the year. An idyllic villa in the Spanish countryside complete with pool. Bliss! I literally cannot wait.

Of course, a holiday in a (hopefully at the time) hot country requires summer wear – shorts, floaty dresses and not forgetting, swimwear. There was a time I loved shopping for a new bikini for a sunny holiday, now the idea of swimwear shopping fills me with dread! I mean what the hell is supposed to flatter the mum tum and wobbly bits? Shopping for swimwear post-child is a fucking minefield!

I’ve been planning to shed the excess baby weight (Aria is now three…) since Christmas and had a shock this week when Mr S decided to resurrect the Wi-Fit. He proudly told me he weighed much less than when we’d last used it (over two years ago). I was too curious not take my ‘body test’ as well. “Close your eyes, don’t look! It’s going to say ‘one at a time’!” I looked, I stared….shiiiiiit, how much?! “That’s a great motivator” says Mr S. Cue death stare.

Back to swimwear. That day I receive an email from ASOS – ‘HOLIDAY SHOP’. I click, I browse. Okay, so bikinis are out. I’m not even entertaining that idea. On to swimsuits. Maybe I’m getting old, but the only people who could wear the majority of the styles, the likes of which include slogans such as ‘Mermaid off duty’ and ‘Body Glove,’ are 20-something gazelles! Wah!

I search ‘control swimwear’. Three results. All of which are bloody hideous. The search continues!!

Any tips ladies?!

The Listening Booth: April Playlist

In this new feature on the blog, The Listening Booth, I plan to share a monthly playlist of what’s caught my ear – be that new music or rediscovering old favourites, as well as gig reviews and generally music related topics.

This month I’ve been really excited by how much great music there is out there, if you just look hard enough.

Enjoy listening! x

 

Blog identity crisis

So, if you’re familiar with my blog you may have noticed it’s undergone a little refresh. I first set up this blog in 2012, which feels like a long time ago now!

Originally I wanted it to be a fashion focused blog but after becoming pregnant with my little girl, it developed into more of a diary throughout my pregnancy and after that the adjustment to becoming a parent. Life, as it does, took over and I found little time to write. I felt my blog was suffering from a little identity crisis – what should I be writing about? What will readers find interesting? When in truth, it doesn’t need to be one thing or another – it doesn’t have to just be a parenting blog or fashion blog or anything else. It can be whatever I want it to be, that’s the beauty.

So, the design has undergone a little makeover and my posts will vary from music to family to fashion and anything I fancy. I hope you enjoy reading!

Can we talk about…velvet

Velvet. A word that not too long ago actually made me shudder a little, revoking memories of being 10 years old at a school disco, wearing a velvet skirt and thinking I was SO grown up. Especially after I had somehow coaxed my Mum into letting me wear lipstick for the first time, much to my Dad’s absolute horror.

Then there was the Christmas my Mum MADE me wear a black velvet dress…with a doiley type collar…and a matching hairband. Thus my resentment of velvet began!

Understandably, I guess my love/hate relationship with the ‘V’ fabric in my adult years comes from being made to wear it as a child. This season however it’s unavoidable. Every man and his dog seems to have embraced it and not just in black. There’s baby pink, light bluey-grey, navy and red….the list goes on.

Finding something I feel that suits me is hard enough post-child, but velvet? Dare I give you another chance? So the temptation begins, perusing ASOS, River Island, New Look late at night while we watch The Apprentice, much to the despair of Mr S – “Did you see that? Can’t you put your phone down for goodness sake, look I’ll rewind.”

“Sorry” I say “just checking emails…” not “Sorry, velvet is puling me into temptation!”

So, safe to say, I am a little intrigued. Could there be some velvet pieces that wouldn’t make me feel like a school girl at a disco? Well, the answer is yes. I know, I surprised myself. I actually think velvet can be rather sexy, especially when in the form of a bardot top with added choker. It’s more grown up, womanly. Oops…*Add to basket* So there we have it, my first velvet item in over a decade purchased.

Here’s my pick of some more grown up velvet pieces of the moment:

Pink velvet body, ASOS

Red velvet boots, Dorothy Perkins

Black velvet choker, River Island

Black crossover velvet top, River Island

Black velvet dress with lace inserts, River Island

(L-R) Pink velvet body, ASOS | Red velvet boots, Dorothy Perkins | Black velvet choker, Black velvet dress with lace inserts, Black velvet crossover top, all River Island

Have you fallen in love with velvet again? What are your favourite velvet items at the moment?

Thanks for reading,

Em x

 

Then and now

If you’re a parent I’m sure you often fantasise about the days when you were young (er) and carefree. The days before you developed those dark circles under your eyes. The days of spontaneous dinner dates, boozy weekend lunches that lingered into the evening and gig-going (our personal favourite). The days of..okay I’ll stop before I sound like a whingebag.

Your spontaneity isn’t the only thing that seems to change after 2 become 3, your conversations do too. Some days I do have to stop and think “Have you heard yourself?” when talking to Mr.S.

Couple conversation, then vs. now –

Then – “How was your day huni?”

Now – “Thank GOD you’re home. She’s been a bloody nightmare today. Did you get wine?”

Then –  “You smell nice”

Now – “What the hell is that smell?” (Cue sniffing of toddler’s bum)

Then – “That film you wanted to see is out on Thursday, shall we go?”

Now – “I think we’ve used up our babysitting credits for this month”

Then – “Have you seen my red heels with the bow?”

Now – “Have you seen Cinderella?”

Then – “Ooooooooh your sex is on fiiiiiire”

Now – “Let it go, let it goooooooo”

Then – “Oh look *insert name of band/singer* is playing, shall we get tickets?”

Now – “Oh look, Frozen on Ice. The tickets are HOW much?!”

You get the picture…

2010

Now

Now

 

Any others you’d like to add?! Pass the wine.

Thanks for reading.

Em xx

 

 

Re-evaluating the blog…and other ramblings

If you know me you’ll know how passionate I am about music. I completed a music production degree at university and music is a huge part of my life. It always has been.

It’s been there through every significant, as well as everyday, moments of my life. Through my love of music I met Mr. S, after doing work experience at the music company he worked at, and some of my dearest friends.

I can tell you what song reminds me of starting little school (Gabrielle’s ‘Dreams’), the band that defined my teenage years (Lifehouse) and the one that evokes memories of a hot August bank holiday, driving to Brighton, the air salty and fresh on a first date with my now husband (Modest Mouse ‘Float On’).

Music is a powerful force and I just cannot imagine life without it. As the poet Victor Hugo said,

“Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent“

I don’t wish this post to come across as pretentious in any way and I swear I will get to the point…now! So, I feel a little like I’ve been drifting a bit with this blogging lark. Initially, as it still is, it was a platform for self-expression and somewhere I could write freely about life, fashion, beauty, my pregnancy and now Aria’s toddler years. But, as you’ll agree, life gets in the way and I’m all for spontaneity but I feel like my blog needs a little more structure. And so, my point being that I want to introduce some regular features, one called ‘The Listening Booth’ being one of them, that are more ‘me’ rather than just ‘me’ the ‘Mummy’

If you read my blog already, this may or may not be something you’re interested in subject wise, but I want to start writing a little more about my passions, music being a big one! So I thought a monthly feature where I share what I’m listening to at the moment, artists old and new, would be a great addition.

Don’t get me wrong, I love writing and reading about toddler recipes and potty training as much as the next Mum (well, not all day every day but you get my point!), but I’m also still my own person and think a little more self-expression can only be a good thing.

So, if you’re still reading to the end (after all my rambling!) I hope you’ll come back and read more!

Thanks for reading,

Em xx

 

 

 

 

 

I can’t believe I just said that

I remember very clearly the things my Mum used to say to me as child, I like to call them ‘Mum-isms.’ You know, things such as ‘Get down from there or you’ll fall and break your neck’, ‘If the wind changes you’ll get stuck like that’ and ‘You’re NOT going out dressed like that’…you get the idea.

So I guess it was inevitable I’d start saying these Mum-isms sooner or later. Here are a few that have escaped from my mouth in the past few weeks –

“I’m going to count to three and you’d better be on this changing mat. One, TWO…TWO AND A HALF…”

“What did I JUST say?”

“Are you allowed to do that?” “No Mummy” “Then why are you doing it?”

“Don’t like it” says Aria pushing her food away. “There are children starving in Africa who would LOVE this food”

“Get away from the TV or you’ll get square eyes”

“I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall”

“Am I talking to myself?”

“Sit down while you’re eating or you’ll get indigestion”

I’m sure there will be many more to come as Aria grows up and even when she’s an adult I’ll be uttering them, because as my Mum tells me, your children are always your babies whether they’re 3 or 33.

What have you found yourself saying to your children?

Em xx

 

Beware – Toddlers have no filter

You know some people  who say exactly what’s on their mind? Positively described as honest, negatively described as blunt. Sometimes I love these people. “I wish I could be that honest” I think. Other times I think “Ooh that was harsh, don’t you have a filter?”

Well, let me tell you toddlers do not have this filter! And if you tend to have a bit of a potty mouth (don’t we all some days), control it, control it now! For your delightfully cute little one will repeat EVERYTHING YOU SAY! And I mean everything. Hence Mr. S and I training ourselves to replace our thoughtlessly uttered expletives with words such as ‘sugar’, ‘bother’ and my current favourite ‘fudge sticks’. Particularly hard when driving I’ve found!

“So”, I hear you say, “I get it, keep my language in check in front of my little one” (and out of sight because THEY HEAR EVERYTHING) – “check”. But it’s not just your language you need to consider. These adorable tiny humans have a way of saying exactly what they think, when they think it.

Take Good Friday for example. There we were, family Smith 3, enjoying a sunny afternoon at Bateman’s, a National Trust property in East Sussex. Taking a break from our Easter egg hunt to enjoy our picnic, people watching and enjoying the sunshine, when a shall we say larger lady comes into our vicinity. Aria, darling daughter, pipes up from behind her carrot sticks “Lady, big tummy.” Cue husband and I, beetroot red trying desperately to drown out her honesty, “ARIA ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR LUNCH?” “Lady, BIG T..” “MMMM YUMMY CARROT STICKS”. “LADY, BI..” “LOOK AT THAT DOGGY.“

Thankfully, I don’t think the lady heard her honest outburst. We however, are going to have to learn to deal with more of these types of situations. Because when you’re two, you really do say what you think.

Has your little one come out with any embarrassing things? I’d love to hear them!

Em xx

Darling daughter, enjoying her chocolate bunny